Bad Communication

Bow and I stayed home while the rest of the family went to the village to help Peelawon pick potatoes.  The plan was I would stay home with Bow and take her to Taekwondo at four by scooter.  I would then come back home and wait for Mew to pick me up at the house at five, so that I could go teach her english.

So four o'clock finally arrived.  I had tried to contact both Mew and her mom but heard nothing from them.  I dropped Bow off at Taewkondo and went next door to Mew's sister's hair salon, to ask her if she could contact her mom to see if I was going to be teaching Mew today.  I was told that her mom would be coming to pick me up to take me to her house to teach Mew.  Even after trying to explain multiple times that I needed her to pick me up at the house since I didn't want to ride the motorcycle back in the dark, no one understood me.  Finally Mew's mom came to the hair salon and told me to follow her to the house on the motorcycle.


Once we got to Mew's house I got her to call Mon.  They talked for a moment, and then I tried to explain to Mon what was going on.  After we had finished talking to Mon, Mew's mom told me that Mew would come back to the house to learn with me.  I figured this was so that I wouldn't have to drive the scooter back in the dark.  As I was following the two of them they pulled off to the side of the road.  Both of them got out of the vehicle and told me that Mew wasn't feeling well and that she would learn with me next week.

So I drove back home a little pissed off I had gone on this wild goose chase only to find out it was for absolutely nothing.  When I arrived home to better my mood I found out that Bow hadn't left the key for the house in the scooter like I had asked.  I went to call Mon and tell her but I had no more money on my phone.  I thought no problem I will wait since Bow would be done Taekwondo in a few minutes and then they would head home.  An hour passed and still no one came home.  Finally after an hour and a half, which at that point it had started to rain, I desperately looked for a way into the house.  I found a huge rock in the drive way and threw it through the kitchen window which I climbed through.  Haha had you guys going there didn't I :P  The truth is I went and checked all the windows to see if any of them had been left open.  I was super lucky to find that Sa's bedroom window had been left open and the screen was as well.  So I climbed through that.  Once Mon and the kids got back home I got to fill them in about my eventful afternoon.

Monkey Mountain

Ling Mountain

Mon, Bow, Taiten, Sa, Tha, Mama, and I went up to ling (monkey) mountain.  Another incredible experience during my stay here.  There are hundreds of monkeys, which all come down the mountain during the day.                        

Most of the monkeys were well behaved but there was a handful of them that were pretty cheeky.  Sa had not only one but two different monkeys snatch food right out of her hand.                                     Bow was trying to get a picture of me handing food to one of the monkeys.  Instead of the monkey taking the food that I was offering him, he just stared me down before he slapped my hand.  This evidently knocked all the food out of my hand, after which he just walked away.  

Some of the monkeys were really polite and friendly though.  Most of the monkeys would take the food right out of your hand nicely.  Even if you didn't have food in your hand they would inspect them just to make sure.  I even had one monkey grab ahold of my finger and hold onto it gently.  He did this for a while so Bow managed to get a really nice picture of it.                                     One of the monkeys thanked Bow for the food by pooping on her.  We laughed about it after we kicked her out of the vehicle and she had gotten cleaned up and the stench went away.  I would go back there in a heart beat!!   

Thai Television

Where to start with this topic.  I absolutely hate television here in Thailand.  It's so fake!!  Everything from their tv series, which they follow religiously, to their news. 
First I will start off with their tv series.  I have no idea how many different series my Thai family watches but there is too many to keep track of.  Thai shows combine violence, drama, and shitty acting all into one.  They also upgrade the cheesiness by incorporating stupid sounds, such as displayed in this video at 1:40.
They have spin offs of American tv shows such as "I dream of Jeannie."  They include animated characters in some of their shows, which looks like they have been created by a twelve year old.
Thai news is somewhat of an interesting experience in itself.  They have no problem showing the bodies of the deceased including the blood and gore that accompanies it.  For the weather, the broadcaster usually dresses up in some ridiculous outfit and has a holographic image which she interacts with.  One time the weather broadcaster was dressed up in a fisherman's jump suit and was on a boat.  Another time she dressed up in a sundress and was running through a holographic park.
The ironic thing is even though the news shows dead bodies, and most of their shows have people getting shot or stabbed, it is considered very bad to show the use of liquor on TV.  In the TV shows if the actors are portrayed to be drinking alcohol it is blurred out.  Some shows also blur out knives or guns which I consider to be pointless.  
Everything is dubbed here, unlike in Taiwan or Sweden subtitles are used.  There are some cartoons which are in English and we have three English channels but when I want to watch a movie or a tv show I turn to youtube, itunes, or pirating.

LadyBoy

In Thailand there are a lot of ga-teu-i, which means ladyboy.  Ga-teu-i is the formal way to say a person with two sexes who still have male body parts but dress as a female.  "Phuying kham pet" is generally more appropriate when referring to ladyboys.
Many can not have proper jobs since companies don't want to have a ladyboy associated with their name.  Ladyboys are not allowed to use either female or male bathrooms in their work place but have their own special bathroom.  Most ladyboys work in the sex industry, which is a big industry down here in Thailand.  The law also states that ladyboy's ID and passports must have the letter "M" for male, since thai people follow the definition "a female is someone who can bear a child."
An operation for becoming a ladyboy in Thailand costs about 150,000 baht which converted to Canadian is about 5,000.  This includes getting snipped, breast implants, and the adam's apple shaved off.  Other operations include silicon implants in the hips, jaw narrowing, cheekbone shaving and chin sculpting.  After the operation female hormones need to be taken regularly.  These hormones can either come in pill form, which is taken twice a week, or in an injection which is per month.  Even though there is a fair amount of ladyboys in Thailand no family particularly wants to have their son become a transgender.
Most the time its very easy to tell who's a ladyboy but there are those occasional times when you need to take a very good look.  Most the time its how they act that gives it away.

Phichit

The weekend was spent in Phichit with friends for a temple ceremony.  We spent the first day helping build flower ornaments that would be used in the ceremony the next day.  Thai people sure know how to make beautiful flower arrangements!  I am proud to say that I helped build that display.  In total there were about twenty five of us working on the flower ornaments and two monks assisting and supervising.
We slept in the temple for the night which was extremely uncomfortable.  The next day started at four in the bloody morning.   Mon's friend Mayio said I was like a Thai person, since I had no problem sleeping on the floor and was able to eat most Thai food.  Mon said all I needed to do was cut off my nose and get darker and I would fit in just perfectly.  Most Thai people have very flat and wide noses, hence why Mon said to chop mine off.  The real ceremony started at two in the afternoon.  The only reason that we woke up so early was so that everyone could chant along with the monks.  After the monks had finished chanting we tied colorful cloth around three posts. After eight hours of sitting around, the ceremony was finally about to begin.  Thank goodness for free food to occupy us while we waited.  I was utterly disappointed to find out that after all that waiting all we did was hold onto a piece of string while they raised the posts to the top of the temple, while the monks chanted.
We spent the night out at the village in Phitchit which caused for a very entertaining morning. Mon's cousin got a bit drunk and kept telling me "I love you."  He wanted me to go sit with him and I continued to refuse until he got an older member of the village to walk me over.  I'm glad Mon was sitting with him since she had to interpret the conversation.  Apparently he wanted my nose and said he liked me.  He asked how old I was and was absolutely shocked when I replied in Thai.  He also said some things which I didn't understand but from Mon's reaction, they were perverted.  As we were leaving he made Mon back the car up so that he could wave and blow me a kiss goodbye.  I was so embarrassed.

Before we headed home we went to Phichit's crocodile farm.  In Thailand any crocodiles that are wandering around are captured and taken to these farms for the safety of others.  We walked around the park for a bit before I drove everyone home.  Once we got home Taiten turned into the terrible-tornado-Taiten which we were so lucky to get rid of for the weekend.  He was so well behaved on the trip but once we got back home he turned right back into the Tasmanian devil.  One incident this afternoon was when he asked Sa if he could play on her laptop, which she replied when it was done charging, he threw a broom at her which hit her nose.

While Taiten, Bow, and I went to seven eleven to get milk Sa and Mon tried to burn the house down.  They left a chicken stir fry on the stove while they went outside to do some yard work. When Bow and I walked into the kitchen we sprinted out of the house coughing due to the intoxicating aroma.  Imagine breathing in smoke. Now imagine inhaling something so spicy it feels as if your throat has completely closed off.  They cook some wickedly spicy food at times.  When they do I have to resort to staying outside since most causes me to cough uncontrollably.

Last 48 Hours

The last 48 hours have consisted of a picnic on the beach, a late night swim in the pool, sleeping over at the village, encountering a lot of drunk males, a monk ceremony, swimming at the waterfall, and meeting some monkeys.  At the moment I'm friggen exhausted!

After spending the day down by the beach, mostly just eating, we went back to the house and packed for our sleepover at the village.  Before we left though we, excluding Mon and Mama, decided to go for a night time swim to cool off.  Once we were at the village we got served dinner and watched the show.  By show, I mean all the drunk people dancing around.  Unlike the last monk ceremony I went to, this one had payed entertainment.  There was a huge stage and singers, who were actually friends of Sa's from the university.  

It doesn't matter if they have little to no money, when it comes to a ceremony such as this they, Thai people, fork out as much money as possible to boost and show off to other members of the community.  Its a big competition as to who can pull off a bigger and better show.

  

Heres a fact for you:  Did you know Asians have the lowest sense of pride out of all other nationalities.  That fact proved itself to me last night.  I have mentioned before a monk ceremony mainly consists of people getting plastered.  Last night girls would go on stage and dance provocatively, guys were leading woman off to their huts, and I had numerous men hit on me.  I have come to the conclusion I don't handle drunk people well, when I am a foreigner.  I owe Bow and Sa a lot for saving me numerous times.  I think I need to learn the phrase "piss off" in thai, since repeating"I do not understand" and "no I don't want to dance" doesn't seem to get the point across.  

As the night was wrapping up, which was at about twelve, I said to Bow "Isn't it funny that the night before he becomes a monk, which restricts him from touching females, they put a bunch of pretty ladies on a stage."  She laughed at me and said "It doesn't matter to him.  He is gay." 

I don't know if you can get kicked out of being a monk but if you can I have a feeling it will happen to this guy. Or that he will choose to only be a monk for a short period of time.  I have an assumption he did this more for his mom than for himself.  It's considered a huge honour for a family to have their son become a monk.  My impression during the day was that he was just doing this for the attention and show, and that he didn't actually want to be there.  But I could always be wrong.

In total there was two other groups at the temple today.  Already thai music sounds horrible to me but when you get two other bands playing different songs in the mix...  Its just not a good combination. Having more parties join you on this day is good luck for the monks since this means they receive more money.  After the monks have their new attire and have chanted they come out of the temple where people are waiting to give them a contribution in exchange for good luck.  Each person does this for all three monks for triple the luck.   

After hours spent at the temple we went back to the village where we loaded up the vehicle with a bunch of kids from the village and went to the waterfall.  In total there was fourteen of us in the vehicle and I was the one driving.  Ever since I have been back from Taipei Mon has been getting me to drive which I love.  She has recently even been asking me to drive in the city, which was a shock considering she won't let me drive the scooter into town or to the market for my own safety. 

At the waterfall we saw two monkeys.  At first they were situated at the top of a rock but slowly made their way down to the base where everyone was sitting.  I was walking over with my camera as they were coming down the fall and due to my careful concentration trying not to slip when I looked up the monkey was standing right in front of me.  Three more steps and I would have been able to reached out and touch him.  One guy threw them a piece of chicken.  

Later he regretted that decision since they stole the rest of his food.  The brown one stole the chicken while the orange one rushed him and took the plastic bag which contained potato chips right out of his hand.  It was amazing to watch the monkey tear open the bag and scarf down those chips like no tomorrow.  The poor man didn't even stand a fighting chance against those monkeys.

   

    

         

                                        

Happy Birthday Mike

Since you are not here to celebrate your birthday with the family, we celebrated it without you.  We went out and bought you a cake. Unfortunately it looked so good we decided to eat it.  Don't worry you didn't miss out on much though.  It literally tasted like wax. 

Warning: Do not buy cake from K&S in Thailand.  

How to describe today....  

1.  Painful.  Very very painful

2.  Lazy

First thing this morning I had my first thai massage.  I was rather excited about it and was thrilled to have two hours of nice relaxation.  It wasn't until it started that I realized I was actually in for two hours of excruciating pain.  I had my toes and fingers yanked on until they cracked.  I was stretched beyond my normal capacity.  The majority of the time she used her bones to massage mine.  Not going to lie, its not the greatest feeling.  I think the most enjoyable part of the massage was when she stepped on me and massaged my eyeballs.  Haha yup, she actually massaged my eyes.  Don't get me wrong, she is a really good masseuse!  I just had a different perspective about what the massage would be like.  It wasn't until Mon got back home that she told me I could have choosen the kind of massage I wanted.  I was under the impression there was only one kind from previous observation.  Hell, the pain was totally worth it for the experience.        

^This picture perfectly described me during my massage.  I got the exact same one Mon did, and she gets this done regularly.